“Someone Asked Me to Be Their Surrogate!”
It’s never really something you can expect to be asked of you...a friend or a family member requesting you to be their gestational carrier. Perhaps you already knew that they had been intending to pursue gestational surrogacy, or perhaps this is entirely surprising news. In either case, you’re probably unprepared to have an answer at the ready, and that’s totally okay! It’s a big decision and you will need time to think about it. You’ll likely be doing a bit of research to help you make your choice.
We here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno are here to help guide you through what you can expect when someone has asked you to be their gestational carrier.
You’ll Want to Set Up a Matching Session
If this is your first foray into the world of gestational surrogacy, you may not be quite as familiar with this idea as others. A matching session is used to help the intended parent(s) and the gestational carrier to get to know one another.
This may seem like a silly thing to do at first glance. After all, you already know the person or couple who asked you...what more do you need to know? You may know them in a social setting or even a familial setting. However, entering into an agreement that helps them grow a family is a whole different perspective.
It probably goes without saying that discussing gestational surrogacy isn’t a small thing, regardless of which side of the conversation you’re on. This is especially true when you know the person or couple who has asked you to do this enormous kindness. You may be familiar with their political leanings, their religious beliefs, etc. That being said, however, it is imperative to sit down with one another and talk through what each of you would want and expect should you accept their proposal. You may be surprised by what your friend or relative expects, and vice versa. This is the very reason we strongly encourage those looking into gestational surrogacy to meet with their potential matches in a traditional setting. Without knowing what each person involved expects from the other, it’s impossible to feel secure in any relationship.
You’ll Want to Connect with a Surrogacy-Friendly Agency
If you have decided to become the gestational carrier for this person in your life, you will need to seek professional assistance. After all, doing research via Google can only get you so far. You’ll find that going through the ins and outs of the gestational surrogacy journey with professionals will not only give you a bit of clarity to your situation, but also guide you through the different hurdles that may come your way during the journey. The wonderful people in our office at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno can refer you to great clinics for any testing that may need to be done, as well as reputable OBGYNs in the area if you don’t currently have one.
You Want to Make Sure You’re Comfortable and Confident
Whether you’ve been asked by a friend or a family member, just keep this in mind: while it is a very large favor for them to ask of you, and as close as you may be to this person, you are under no obligation to accept. As we’ve mentioned before, becoming a gestational carrier is not a small decision to make. Not only will it impact your life, it will impact your relationship with this person or couple. This isn’t meant to scare you off, rather to ensure that you’re aware of any potential outcome.
If you are uncomfortable with taking this step, do not force yourself into this. It will only cause frustration and, potentially, resentment towards your friend or family member.
On the Other Hand...
Keep this in mind also, reader. While it has likely been jarring to have this question thrown at you, it’s very likely a jarring experience for your friend or family member. As you probably know, your friend or family member has been through a very rough time while trying to conceive. To come to the conclusion that they must turn to gestational surrogacy was probably a harrowing and emotional journey for them. Their having asked you to be their gestational carrier comes from a place of vulnerability and trust. If you’ve decided to decline their request, do it politely. A little bit of kindness during this time goes a long way.
Is there anything you would have liked to see on this post? Anything you hadn’t thought of before reading? Let us know in the comments!
If someone has asked you to be their gestational carrier, and you have decided to accept, congratulations on your exciting new journey! Give Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno a call to get started. We’re always happy to assist you and your intended parents in any way we can.
As always, be safe and be well, friends!
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now!