Finding Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays
As a birth mother, the holidays can be a challenging time of year. It can feel like a piece is missing, and that piece is the child you placed for adoption. You aren’t alone in that feeling, and that is why support is there and ready for you.
There are many reasons that you might not be feeling too cheery around the holidays. It is perfectly natural to go through a time where you don’t feel like you should. While everyone else is happy for the holidays, you can be struggling and there is nothing wrong with that. Remember you are human and needing support doesn’t make you less valid. Everyone needs help sometimes.
When it comes to finding support as a birth mother what are your options? Why would you even need it?
While most people are out celebrating the holidays it could be you are not feeling up to it this year. Maybe this is your first year as a birth mother or maybe you can’t see your child or their adoptive family this year. Whatever the reason may be, it can bring on a case of the blues.
Why could you be feeling like you aren’t really yourself, though? Well, the list is pretty large, as it really depends on the birth mother. Maybe you are having the grief that comes after the adoptive family takes your child home. It could even be Postpartum Depression that happens to some women. Whatever the case may be, your emotions are incredibly valid.
Emotions are going to be high during this time of year. Know that even if you feel one year that grief come and hit you like a truck. It is important to allow yourself to process and grieve. Don’t bottle it up as that will make it worse. This is when you should find your support team, no matter who that might be.
Where can You Find Support?
There are various places to find support. You have two main options, which are:
It truly is up to you where you find more comfort in. For each, there are pros and cons that you have to consider. If you feel stuck, it is worth reaching out to your adoption agency to help you through this.
If you look into online support, there are many wonderful groups out there. One such resource is on Facebook and is called Birth Mothers Unite! This is a group that was created for birth mothers and just for birth mothers. It’s a small group, but it is an option.
Another option to look into for online support is a site called BirthMom Buds. This site is here for birth mothers, like yourself, to find different connections. There is a whole page dedicated to how you can find support either local or online.
If you are looking for more in-person support groups, a good place to start is your community. If you have a community center, you may be able to find a group. If not, counseling is a good way to get the support that you need with someone who understands. If you have a counselor, now is the time to talk to them about what you are feeling.
No matter why you are feeling the way you are there is support out there for you. If you are in the Reno area, then you are in luck. Adoption Choices of Reno is open during all the major holidays in case you need them. This means Christmas, New Years, Christmas Eve, New Years Eve, and every day between. If you can’t find support anywhere else during the holidays, consult with your adoption caseworker for advice..
Oftentimes, when you work with an adoption agency, they will have options for support through your pregnancy that should carry over to after you give birth. As adoption is a rollercoaster of emotions, it is important to remember support through the whole thing.
If nothing else works, and you are able, turn to your family or friends. Let them know that you are struggling and need some extra support this time of year. No one should have to go through this alone, and if you can have family or friends listen it may just help. Even if they can’t help, let someone know that you are struggling.
This is vital right here. If you feel like you are in danger with your thoughts, find your local mental health hospital or go to your local hospital.
Finding Support as a Birth Mother
Finding support during the holidays can be a little tricky. However, you have options on what to do for yourself. If you are struggling during the holidays, know that you aren’t the only one. There are others out there who feel the exact same way. Know you aren’t alone and you’ve got this. You are stronger than you know, and needing support doesn’t make you weak.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now!