How to Begin a Holiday Tradition as a Birth Mother in an Open Adoption
Open adoption relationships in the midst of the holiday season find themselves to be ripe with opportunities for birth mothers. Establishing yourself as an influence in your child's life comes with dedication and nuance. A seasonal or holiday tradition, starting from the beginning of an open adoption relationship, can enhance the valuable connection between a birth mother and her child.
As a birth mother yourself, you may wonder what traditions look like in an open adoption. With precise communication between you and your child’s adoptive parents, and a dash of sentimental creativity, a tradition will be born. To get started, Adoption Choices of Reno is here to help show you how to begin a holiday tradition as a birth mother in an open adoption.
Your Open Adoption and its Potential
If you have already followed through with an open adoption, you may be quite aware as to how much influence this type of relationship can add to the family dynamic. Knowing your own boundaries and participation with your child and his or her family comes in learning strides. For instance, whether the adoptive family lives in another state, has contrasting priorities, or comes from a different culture altogether, your role as a birth mother develops as it is constantly testing new waters.
There is no need to fret at these challenges. All forms of adoption take time to develop into the desired relationship of choice. Also, it is important to remember that your contribution to an open adoption does not have to be the backbone for your child's proper development. Always keep in mind how much you trust your child’s adoptive family. Even though you may not always be a pivotal part of the family dynamic, your role as a birth mother is extremely unique. That said, let's take a look at how you can define your role during the Christmas season.
Your Holiday Tradition as a Birth Mother
When deciding how you want to celebrate the holidays with your child's adoptive family, it is important to keep in mind that all family traditions, like adoptions, are not identical. However you decide to celebrate a season with your child and their adoptive family, there is no standard to meet that would qualify you as a "good birth mother." Thinking of a holiday tradition as something comparable to other families will only bring your self-esteem down. Your creative choices will expand as long as you remember whom the tradition is meant for every year: your child.
You, as a future or current birth mother, have a unique role in the family dynamic. This, along with an open adoption relationship, can be a catapult for numerous opportunities.
Inspiration for a Seasonal Tradition
Whatever type of inspiration you may need to be festive, the core of a tradition will always come down to who you are. To help you get started on your holiday journey, here are a few pointers that will guide your brainstorming sessions:
Considering your child's age, make the tradition more relevant to their stage of life. An infant won't care as much as an adolescent.
Communicate with your child’s adoptive parents beforehand. They will have firsthand insight on your child's favorite activities.
Know your "why" -- your motivation for doing things. Your "why" should always be for your child's happiness. What you plan to do with that will be unique to you.
Work with your child’s adoptive family. As mentioned before, all family dynamics are different. It's up to you to know how the family operates. While staying true to yourself, you should not compete with the adoptive family's celebration style.
Try to make your tradition convenient. Schedules can be quite overwhelming during the holiday season; plan accordingly with the adoptive parents' calendar.
The Simplicity of a Tradition
However you plan to celebrate with your child, don’t feel pressured to stand out as the best activity. Learning how to begin a holiday tradition as a birth mother in an open adoption often takes time to establish. Traditions during the Christmas season are often quaint and simple. From making gingerbread houses to hiding the pickle ornament on the tree or watching a classic Christmas movie, memories will most importantly be made through the bond of a family.
Remember that, no matter what, it is essential to accept that all traditions come organically. Carrying the burden to "succeed" in the creation of a tradition is an unnecessary mindset. The holidays involve many people whose annual patterns are prone to change. An attempt to stick the landing with your tradition each year could rob you of the precious moments you simply love about being a birth mother. Your influence in an open adoption will remain special. That said, get creative, strategize with your child’s adoptive family, and relax.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now!