Misconceptions about Birth Fathers
Birth fathers come in all shapes, sizes and colors. From all walks of life. Every race, culture and ethnicity. Unfortunately, birth fathers have been encased in negative stereotypes to the point that society doesn’t see them as anything other than those labels.
It’s time that those stereotypes turn to truth.
Myth #1: The birth father can come and take away the child
Fact: While this a common fear of adoptive parents, it isn’t factual. Once the adoption has been finalized through the court, the law recognizes the adoptive parents as the adoptee’s legal guardians. By this point in time, both birth parents have come to terms with their choice, and are in agreement with the decision. So, having a birth parent suddenly change their mind post finalization is extremely rare.
Myth #2: Birth fathers are troubled teens and cannot be trusted
Fact: It is true that some birth fathers may be in their teens, but whether or not they can be trusted is not something that can be accurately judged. Emotional speculations like this all too often stem from a place of anxiety. However, further research and education about the adoption process, and the involvement of the birth parents, can help ease that fear. Beginning with age. Statistics show that, on average, birth parents are in their 20s.
Generally speaking, birth parents choose adoption because they don’t have the financial or mental resources to raise a child. This doesn’t make them troubled, dangerous or untrustworthy, though. Quite the opposite. Making a plan for adoptionis a very selfless and responsible choice.
Myth #3: Only the birth mother is important
Fact: Incorrect. As we all know from biology and human anatomy, you need an egg and a sperm to create a child. So, it stands to reason that birth fathers are just as important as birth mothers. Society does place more emphasis on the birth mother, but the birth father has his own essential role to play.
The adoption process is bigger than just the hospital experience, home study, and court finalization. Remember that it starts with the birth mother and birth father becoming pregnant. For birth fathers who are present and involved, they can be there to support the birth mother through the pregnancy, and make sure that both she and the baby stay happy and healthy. He can also voice his thoughts on the future, and discuss the right path for them.
Myth #4: Birth fathers don’t care
Fact: This is, unfortunately, a part of the many stereotypes that have been created about birth fathers. Too many stories of birth fathers disappearing or being unknown or uninvolved have outweighed those of who are devoted and there from beginning to end. It has been reported that many birth fathers have wanted to be more involved, but weren’t sure how because they feel their role in the adoption process is nonexistent.
It’s easy to forget that the birth father is an additional human being in the equation. One who will experience his own range of emotions and set of fears. Adoption is a scary and complex process, and birth fathers will feel the pressure just as much as anyone else. He will experience grief and loss, and will need to come to terms with his decision. He isn’t exempt. Present or not. Birth fathers who are aware of the pregnancy and a part of the journey care deeply, and choose adoption out of love and wanting the best for their child.
Myth #5: Birth fathers aren’t needed
Fact: Not true. Most adoptions cannot be completed with the birth father. If he is willing and able, he has the right to voice his thoughts on the decision whether or not to make a plan for adoption. He plays an integral part in supporting the birth mother, as well, and journeying through the grief and loss with her.
Misconceptions about Birth Fathers
It’s important to note that many birth fathers feel as though they don’t have a place in the adoption process. Like they don’t fit and have no rights. On the contrary, birth fathers are vital to the adoption journey. From beginning to end, birth fathers have the right to their say in the decision making process. In most states, they are permitted to exert their right as the child’s biological parent and have the opportunity to establish paternity.
Each and every situation is unique, so be sure to discuss any questions or concerns you have regarding birth fathers with your adoption lawyer and chosen adoption agency.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno is available to help birth parents now!
Birth Parents Can Call 24/7 at: 775-227-5277