Giving Up Your Baby vs. Placing Your Child for Adoption
What do you think when you think of adoption? A mother giving up her child for adoption? Is that what comes to mind? In most places, that is a common thought. It all comes down to what history had put in place long before we reached here. Back when adoption wasn’t adoption and more a labor trade. What took place was one family giving a son to a noble family in order to create ties to nobility.
Today, adoption is nothing like the past. It is the creation of a family and not just one family giving up a son because they had too many. It’s more powerful now, and that is why the wording has changed.
Today the correct language is placing your child for adoption. Not giving up. Don’t worry, Adoption Choices of Reno will explain this!
Why Adoption Language Matters
When looking at the wording, there is a drastic change in the implication. Placing has a more positive meaning than giving up does. Now, neither one is inherently positive, but placing means that you are doing the one thing that could give your child a different chance in life. Maybe that chance is to have everything he or she could ever wish for or just better opportunities community wise.
What do you think when someone says “giving up?” Do you think about someone just throwing in the towel and quitting? Maybe you think of a pet being surrendered to a shelter? No matter what you think, it sounds like quitting. It sounds like you just stopped caring about something and tossed it aside or even threw it away.
No birth mother is giving up their child. You, and every birth mother out there, are placing your child for adoption. Why? The main reason is going to be up to you in the long run. However, you are doing it out of love and wanting the best for this child. It has nothing to do with giving up on your child.
When going through the decision to go forward with adoption, you are making the most challenging choice possible. You have to choose to put your happiness last in order to make sure your child will have everything he or she needs. It isn’t easy and it takes a big heart to make that choice after all. This is why the term “giving up” is far outdated and needs to be changed.
Giving Up vs. Placing
Why is giving up for adoption so popular, though? It was what was popular before the term “placing for adoption” came about. The term was used through Hollywood and other primary media sources. Which, as we know, the media plays a big part in how information spreads around the world so fast.
Let’s look at what giving up implies:
By definition, “giving up” means resigning oneself to failure
Allowing yourself to give in to addiction or emotion
Admitting defeat and resigning to failure
Now let’s look at what placing implies:
By definition, “placing” is searching for a home or job for someone
It is also putting one in a particular position
Pushing through hard emotions or addiction to get better
If you noticed, “giving up” indicates a failure. Guess what? You have done the furthest thing from that. An unplanned pregnancy isn’t a failure, it is just a bump in the road. There are going to be people who see it as such but ignore those people who aren’t understanding. Those people are not the ones that are going on this journey, you are. In the end, this pregnancy isn’t a failure on your part or your partner’s part. It’s just unplanned and unexpected.
See for yourself how the change in phrases makes you feel. You might find that just changing your language helps you feel better about the process. If you were feeling down or like people would see this as a failure then try changing the wording. As always, you should talk to your support group too. Get them to change the wording from giving up to place. Just a simple change can make a huge difference in the mentally behind adoption.
November, is the perfect time to get your support group or even just friends to change their language. It’s National Adoption Month, after all, and that means you can help change the words. You can help people learn the correct terminology when it comes to talking about adoption.
Imagine if you and the people you know started using the term placing on social media. That could quickly gain traction and people would begin to learn. Which is a good start in teaching and getting the word out there that the lingo has changed. That and teaching people that choosing adoption isn’t a failure at all. There is nothing that screams failure when it comes to choosing adoption. What you decided was to give your child a chance you may not be able to provide.
Giving Up vs. Placing Your Child for Adoption
Remember this: you are not failing just because you decided to go through with an adoption. Adoption is full of ups and downs and your emotions are bound to be all over. When things get rough, or you just are feeling down, remember you will get through this. It is hard, and if you need to reach out to your support group or caseworker. You aren’t in this alone and you are loved. You and your baby are now part of something bigger than just the two of you. You’re part of the wonderful world of adoption, and that is not a failure.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across Nevada since 2012. You can call us to speak to someone now!